![]() Importantly, showing how someone else is wrong isn’t the same thing as being correct yourself. (“She always goes around the room.” “She checks in with her crew weekly.”) That’s making your case. From there, you offer substantiation and evidence to back it up. Let’s say it’s “Jen is a team player.” In order to make that claim, add the word “because” and give your reason (“because she involves everyone in the department”). ![]() To begin, determine the fact, judgment or prescription that you would like someone else to accept. Once you’ve decided to argue, Seo says, know what it is you’re arguing about. If the disagreement really is over the dishwasher (and look, there’s often cause), don’t let it become a referendum on your marriage. Finally, stick to the specific dispute at hand so that the argument doesn’t expand or spiral. Next, pause to consider how important that point is and whether it’s worth arguing over. If someone has hurt you, figure out why that becomes a real basis for argument. You need to have a point to make, not just an emotional conflict or complaint to air. Arguments, Seo reminds us, are “easy to start and hard to end.” For a dispute to go well, it should be real, important and specific. But you have to keep in mind a few key principles.įirst, know when to engage. While that may not work on Twitter, where character assassination and chasing likes win over good-faith argument, or in electoral debates, which have become little more than sponsored advertisements or opportunities to loom menacingly over one’s opponent, it may work in real life. In debate, he writes, rebuttal - arguing back - is “a vote of confidence not only in ourselves but in our opponents, one that contained the judgment that the other person was deserving of our candor and that they would receive it with grace.” Approaching arguments with reason, logic, respect and empathy can help people handle opposing views. In his book, “Good Arguments: How Debate Teaches Us to Listen and Be Heard,” Seo, now a second-year student at Harvard Law School, says what we need is to disagree more but to do so constructively. If more people took their cues from the world of competitive debate, he argues in a recent book, it would be easier to get people to reconsider their views or at least consider those of others. Select the additional alerts of your choice.A little high school debate club might help.īo Seo, a 28-year-old two-time world debating champion, says the problem of polarization isn’t so much that we disagree but rather that “we disagree badly: Our arguments are painful and useless.” We spend more time vilifying, undermining and nullifying those we disagree with than opening or changing their minds. Make sure that Breaking News Alerts are on. In the NYTimes app, tap the bell icon in the top right corner of your screen. ![]() You can also further customize how you receive your alerts ![]() Turn on Show on Lock Screen, then select Banners or Alerts. If that topic is off in the Additional Alerts section. For example, you may still receive a breaking news alert that is about politics, even Please note that these additional alerts do not replace breaking news notifications. You can also receive even more notifications about business, The NYTimes app provides breaking news notifications which allow you to stay on top of major news events even when the application is closed. ![]()
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